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5 Wild Things Coffee Does to You

By Christian Roemer

Coffee is basically the best thing in the world. It’s the transcendent nectar of the gods that fills every morning with meaning and shines its wonderful light upon the earth. Without coffee, my Mondays would be bad, my Tuesdays would be worse, my Wednesdays would be sad, my Thursdays would be blah, and Fridays would be just ok.

But with coffee, all of my days are splendid. Have you ever wondered, while you’re sipping a cup of magical Joe, what exactly it’s doing to your body to make you feel so great? We’re glad you asked! Here’s 5 neat things that coffee does to your mind and body when you drink a cup.


Keeps You Awake

Shocker: caffeine is good at keeping you awake when you’re sleepy. Now that we’ve gotten the “captain obvious” fact out of the way, have you ever wondered why it helps you stay alert? The answer is a chemical called adenosine, which acts as a sort of thermometer for your brain’s ability to concentrate. When it hits critical mass, you’re ready for sleep. Well, the caffeine in coffee actually suppresses that chemical, keeping you alert and conscious longer.

Helps Burn Fat

It turns out that drinking a cup of black coffee prior to working out can actually help you burn fat! That’s right, downing a quick cup of bitter black helps your body prioritize fat burning over using other energy reserves. Please note that we said black coffee. Adding cream and sugar pretty much ruins all of the fat burning qualities of coffee.

Helps Fight Depression

Mental health issues may very well be the most pressing problem of our time. Even though we’re living the most comfortable lives out of any generation of humans in history, our mental health isn’t keeping up. That’s where coffee comes in. Studies show that people who drink coffee have around a 20% lower risk of depression. That means that, not only does coffee make you think you’re feeling better, it actually does just make you feel better.

Makes You Regular

We’re adults. We can talk about pooping, right? Good. Coffee is really good at helping keep you regular. Have you ever noticed that pretty soon after you ingest your first cup, you start feeling a rumbly in your tumbly? Caffeine is a stimulant that helps kick your gastrointestinal system into gear, assisting in, ahem, getting things moving.

Might Help Fight Cancer

f mental health isn’t the most pressing issue of our time, cancer certainly is. It’s one of the top causes of death in the developed world. That’s where a little bit of coffee might come in handy. Coffee actually contains some really powerful antioxidants, which are ingredients that help your body fight free radicals--the precursors to cancer. Similar to the workout benefits, in order to really reap the antioxidant rewards of coffee, you need to drink it black. Adding cream and sugar basically counteracts all of coffee’s health benefits. It’s like ordering a Big Mac and extra large fries with a diet coke; the diet coke isn’t going to keep you from gaining weight.

So there you have it! You’ve just learned 5 awesome things that coffee can do to make your body healthier and happier. We have to reiterate that you should drink your coffee black if you’re looking for health benefits, and you shouldn’t get carried away and drink gallons per day. Too much coffee can lead to loss of sleep, headaches, ulcers, dehydration, mouth burns and other ailments. Moderation is truly the key to coffee happiness. Coffee giveth; coffee taketh away.

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