Christmas is right around the corner, and you know what that means. House parties gathered around the fire place, drinking eggnog, eating too many gingerbread cookies, listening to “Jingle Bells” on repeat, setting up the Nativity scene, hosting Secret Santa, and…strangely decorated sweaters. Want to impress your folks at this year’s holiday shenanigans or astound guests at your BFF’s annual Ugly Christmas Sweater party? Here’s what to wear, and what not to wear. And remember: The tackier, the better.
This easy DIY sweater adorned with jingle bells couldn’t be any more befitting of the holiday season. By simply walking, you instantly become a real-life Christmas carol, ringing in harmony with every holiday song that comes on the radio. Attach no more than 10 jingle bells with small red and green ribbons to pull off this Polar Express vibe. (Beware: If you attach too many jingle bells, your sweater instantly goes to the opposing list. Don’t be obnoxious.) Want to take it a step further? Transform your sweater into a Christmas tree by adding glitter and hanging ornaments.
RUDOLPH THE REINDEER
All you need is a simple brown felt cut-out of a reindeer pasted to your sweater with some big googly eyes and a bright red nose. Buy a glow-in-the-dark red ball, or sew on a vibrant pom pom to guide the way. Want to take it a step further? Make the antlers from twigs.
Use the plastic cover for last night’s leftovers and fill it with glitter. Glue little reindeer figurines inside of it, add gift bows and jingle bells and all other red and green Christmas-y decal. Tape this to your sweater for your own North Pole scene. When you dance, the glitter will shake like snow inside your DIY creation.
STAR WARS CANDY CANE LIGHTSABERS
Any excuse to execute a Star Wars theme is a good one! If you want to get really fancy—and have a reason to thank yourself when you get the post-Eggnog munchies—attach real candy canes to the sweater.
Creating a snowman sweater generally involves a lot of cotton balls. It’s a mess you don’t want to deal with, trust me.
ANYTHING THAT SINGS
You know those birthday cards that sing “Happy Birthday” upon opening and repeat themselves over and over again until you close them? Well, attaching a button that sings “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” when pressed, is most certainly going to piss off the whole family.
While brainstorming this year’s holiday get-up, take into consideration all cliché themes—and then take it a step further. Why doesn’t Santa ride a unicorn instead of in a sleigh? Get the most obnoxiously large jingle bells you can find. Wear a boa around your neck and tie tinsel around your waist. Make Rudolph slippers, with bright red pompoms over your middle toes. Paste Christmas song lyrics and hymn book pages to your skirt. Be bold and creative and as tacky as possible.